Do you feel that empty space? No, not in your heart, that place is still filled with affection for the returning basketball Monarchs. A little higher up though, in that space right above your upper lip and just below your nostrils. That place that feels like it’s missing something, almost like it lost an arm or a leg.
It’s cold, empty, exposed… barren.
It desperately yearns for the return of the fake mustaches that had given it power and meaning. The same fake mustaches that struck fear into opposing teams who thought they had enough courage to challenge the reign of the Monarchs. The fake mustaches that dared ODU’s rivals to drive to the net, just so they could suffer utter rejection by the Monarch defense in front of the thousands watching. The fake mustaches that made the students head coach Blaine Taylor for a day.
Those mustaches are gone, leaving a feeble stretch of skin in its place.
They lost meaning when coach Taylor did away with his and went for a cleaner look. He is their leader after all, the “head stache” if you will. Without coach Taylor’s genuine mustache to lead the way, all of the fakes became foolish and powerless. They need their leader back so it can pump life back into them.
It is time to call for the return of the “head stache.” Coach Taylor has been a legend to Monarch fans and it was their way of honoring him. He could not possibly have known the void that his deceased mustache would leave, but it has become clear that a resurrection is needed. It became part of the Monarch way, and without it, the fans are left naked.
Coach Taylor has been a genius on the court and knows how to prepare a team, but it was his mustache that got the crowd involved. It made the fans part of a tradition, and a winning one at that. It is what made them cheer with such conviction, knowing that with the power of the mustache, they could take on anyone.
So for the sake of the fans, coach Taylor, bring back the stache.
By: Ben Decowski