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Mace & Crown | April 25, 2018

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Crown Jewels 3/6 edition:

Crown Jewels 3/6 edition:

She’s quite the trip, literally. But that shouldn’t stop her from being crowned, now should it? I say absolutely not. So this week’s Crown Jewels go out to “Hunger Games” star, Jennifer Lawrence. Last week, the 22-year old took home the Academy Award for Best Actress in a Leading Role for her portrayal as Tiffany Maxwell in “Silver Lining Playbook” alongside Bradley Cooper. Seems like the perfect recognition for an up and coming actress like her, right? Definitely, but it didn’t stop there.

While making her way up to the stage to accept her prize, Lawrence accidentally slipped up the stairs. Luckily Hugh Jackman was there to save the day and catch her fall.

To be fair, she was sporting a Dior Haute Couture dress, Chopard jewels, a Roger Vivier clutch, and Brian Atwood shoes. Thus, it was only fitting that she showed her human side while rocking all that bling.

Lawrence was also the subject of a photoshop-troversy, if you will. She has admitted that her new Dior ad campaign has had a few touch ups. The actress told Access Hollywood about her ad. “Oh, my God, I haven’t seen this. That doesn’t look like me at all. I love Photoshop more than anything in the world. Of course it’s Photoshop, people don’t look like that.”

So she can hang up those old jewels and replaced them with the new ones. Oh yes, with the Crown Jewels, you’re more than just a trip.

On the opposite side of things, welcome everyone to a brand new section of this column entitled the “Mace Spray” aka the exact opposite criteria of a jewel winner. Yep, this honor is reserved a special weekly, one of a kind screw up. So let’s get started, shall we?

The first ever Mace Spray award goes to Mr. Steven Tyler. This one kind of pains me because Aerosmith is an iconic rock bands in historical music context. But wow, he said what?

Five, count it, $5 million worth of cocaine the rock legend snorted over the years, according to Tyler’s admission in an interview with 60 Minutes.

“Probably, realistically, $5 or $6 [million] easy,” he said. “You could also say I snorted half of Peru, but, you know, it’s what we did.”OPED_CrownJewels_Google

However, his cocaine use is no secret as he admitted his usage to a 2011 interview with Matt Lauer and discussed his weed usage in the ’80s.

Tyler is not receiving this spray between the eyes for his usage, but rather the shock factor his admission triggered as a result. I mean, is venture to guess none of us common folk have ever accumulate that kind of stash, let alone that much in cocaine.

It’s great that the 64-year-old former American Idol judge has been sober for every year that ensued. But man, that’s a hefty amount I just can’t look past.

Mr. Tyler, I regret to inform you that this will sting a little. But open your eyes wide and get ready to rub them profusely. Take the mace in yo face. Five million on cocaine? That’s enough to feed about one percent of the entire human race.

By: Brian Jerry

Senior Writer