Published on March 27th, 2013 | by Mace & Crown Administrator6
Question: “My roommate and I got along great when school started, but as time progressed she proved to be very shallow, self-obsessed and she gets around big time. But she always wants to be together and I don’t know how to tell her what the way she acts does to me, especially when she calls herself fat, considering I’m 80 pounds heavier than her, which is nearly double her weight. But it’s getting to the point where I’ve become extremely depressed from being around her so much and I don’t know what to do because I want to stay on good terms with her since we have to live together. What should I do?”
Answer: Your roommate seems to be getting too comfortable and maybe a bit clingy and you are giving her all of the attention she’s dying for. Stop feeding in to what she wants. She is only talking because you are allowing her to take the spotlight in your friendship. When she starts talking too much about herself, don’t give her any detail and change the subject to something you are more comfortable talking about. When she talks about her weight, you should say something along the lines of, “I know you may feel like you look bad, but you have it a lot better than some other people do.” What she is looking for is someone to tell her how good she looks with the generic response, “no you don’t look fat…you’re beautiful.” She is getting around with other guys because she has low self-esteem, which is why she needs you and other guys to tell her otherwise.
My Advice: Join a school activity here at ODU or start making a closer relationship with people in your classes by asking them to grab Starbucks after. Having an excuse to get to class or do other activities she’s not involved in will give you guys a little separation and some distance. Show her that she is not your number one priority and maybe she’ll cling on to someone else. If you like working out, they have great classes at the ODU gym and a lot of people go regularly. This will help you not feel as stuck inside the room with her and you will feel happy from the release of some endorphins. Hope this helps!
Question: “One of my best friends thinks I don’t support her but I do. I’ve tried telling her I’m here for her. What else can I do?”
Answer: You have already told her that you support her, now show her that you mean it. Have you done something recently that makes her feel you are not supportive? Remind your bestie of your past with them and remind the person casually of the rough times you have gone through together and how you have helped them. But don’t be too pushy by consistently bringing it up because that person might find it annoying.
Hope this helps!
Question: “So, I really like this guy that doesn’t go to ODU, but is from my hometown and I think I might like him, but he has so much baggage and he is what they call a “playa.” I don’t know if it’s my feelings or just lust? Help!”
Answer: First thing is, if other people call him a player, he is most likely a player. If you like him, you might want something more serious and it takes a lot of trust to be in a long distance relationship. I would suggest that when you go home you should talk to him and get a feel of what he is looking for. Is it something serious or are you just another girl to play? If it seems as if he is still toying with other girls, drop him; he will be more trouble than it is worth. You have a lot of stuff going on at school and you don’t want to worry about drama going on back home, telling you he’s out while you’re away from him. However, if it seems like he’s over his childish ways when you talk to him and others back home, tell him how you feel and see how he handles the news. Warning though: Be careful with the baggage; crazy ex girlfriends are not a joke and if he’s still talking to them, he might be doing more than that.
By: Meghan Larson