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Mace and Crown | May 27, 2018

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How to Love a Woman

What is it that defines a woman? The hours spent tugging the overbearing weight of patriarchy on her shoulders? Or is it the beauty of her ability to seek no definite boundaries, in a world that would neglect her freedoms?

To be fair, modern society has moved past some of its more flamboyant stigmas. The stereotypical victorian domestic is virtually absent from today’s culture.

Members of Old Dominion’s Modern Gentleman’s Society decided on Wednesday Feb 5 to find out what exact rules should exist between men and women, so that a healthy relationship may be established.

With its knowledgeable panel of “experts”, along with the help of an enthusiastic audience, ODU’s ‘Gent’s Society aimed to show that there are many strict lines defining how to love a woman. But as we know, campus life may often stretch a young man’s range of preference beyond what time the most stable of marriages could muster.

Our student audience was introduced to some of the common misconceptions dwelling in the dating arena. They seemed to agree collectively that a woman must be approached with confidence and respect, never a shy awkwardness. Sincere interest, eliminating cheesy “one-liners”, and respecting personal space—these are some of the keys to approaching women.

“It must be something memorable,” said Keshaun Pearson, President of the Gentleman’s Society.

Keshaun and his group of fifteen, scholarly gentlemen are deeply concerned with the positive uplift of the male image — not just for courting potential mating prospects, but more so for developing a well-rounded academic, economic, and political identity.

Part of embarking on this leap towards professionalism, as Keshaun states, is providing a woman with something “fresh”, an approach that shows your worth. Audience and panel members suggest the metric of worthiness is solely confined to the guys. A woman shouldn’t have to chase a man to establish her value.

However, for the sake of political correctness, a woman’s freedom should permit her engagement in the hunt as well. She too, can exercise her choice and claim what she desires.

Are these wants, which suddenly become expectations, realistic? How do “swag” and a nice pair of the latest sneakers amount to anything of real value? The answer is simple, they don’t. Men and women of the younger generation seem to be—as audience and panel agreed—far too preoccupied with social media spectacles to know what allows a couple to harmoniously thrive.

It would be of no benefit to choose luxury over love. Money, a stable job with a decent income, healthy ambition— most women want all these things, and rightfully deserve them. Humans by our nature seek security. Therefore a man should also expect to see similar qualities present within his woman.

Males of the audience expressed their disdain towards the thought of a woman that provides them with company in exchange for frequent spa visits, high-class jewelry, a separate key to the Mercedes, (or whatever other idea can be miserably concocted by illusory television). Financial Leeches are every gentleman’s worst nightmare.

Panel member Morgan Brown, a senior double-majoring in women’s studies and political science, believes that her expectations are rightfully selected; what she expects of her partner should be a direct reflection of the value she places on herself.

Regardless of gender, we all admire trust, honesty, unconditional love, and the time and support that sincere effort applied in a relationship shall deliver. So when pursuing the opposite sex (and here even pursuit seems too strong of a word), we should keep in mind that it is just not fair to ask of our partner what we are not prepared to “bring to the table”, as Morgan suggests.

Often times our soul mates are, in fact, mirror replicas of our most internal desires.

When it comes to the world of dating, or the relations that manifest between masculine and feminine, society often disagrees about what is objectively acceptable. Depending on where and how you were raised, one’s cultural upbringing almost always imposes clear delineations about the rights and wrongs of a relationship. And on a complex, culturally rich Old Dominion campus setting, the choices may seem manifold.

ODU’s Modern Gentleman society, a group of well-rounded, positively influenced students proved that both sexes shouldn’t seek to gain the upper hand in any relationship. That every expectation, rooted mostly in a consumerist culture begging that we buy more and more, is inherently invalid when compared to the true goals of any sexual pairing.

The Gent’s demonstrated that couples should learn to grow comfortable with each other, approving of the other’s faults, all the while generating a healthy balance that supplements individual flaws. From mere talking, gradually stepping up to dating, and finally to marriage, love is a synergistic process. Therefore, with respect to mutual truths, we can certainly say that hell hath no fury like a woman who isn’t loved.

And so, to our gentleman interested in strengthening their public image, think twice, and choose wisely between the girl you met at last weekends keg party, or the studious female clasping her Einstein latte. Neither of them should be a mere trophy to your lifestyle, but let us pray they are both worth the effort.  

By David Baah 

Contributing Writer