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Mace & Crown | December 15, 2017

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Satire Archives * Mace & Crown

Faux News Is Good News: Donald Trump Admits Whole Campaign Was Bet

November 12, 2016 |

<h5>George Plank Staff Writer</h5>

After Nov. 8th’s Election Day results, some new information has come to light regarding the man known as Donald J. Trump. During his speech, late Tuesday night, Donald Trump confirmed that his entire campaign had been a … Read More

Faux News Is Good News: Mike Pence Realizes He Must Pretend to Like Donald Trump for Four Years

November 12, 2016 |

<h5>George Plank Staff Writer</h5>

With the surprising turn in the election, the world must come to terms with the reality that is, a Donald Trump presidency. The president elect had not won without making his share of opponents during his campaign, … Read More

Faux News Is Good News: Hillary Clinton Exhales After Full Year

November 12, 2016 |

<h5>George Plank Staff Writer</h5>

History was made, Tuesday night, when reporters officially announced that Hillary Clinton would become the 45th president of the U.S. This was a historic moment for America and for women around the world. This has provided opportunities … Read More

April Fool’s: Big Blue Revealed to be Old Man Jenkins All Along

April 1, 2016 |

George Plank Staff Writer

Recently, tour groups visiting Old Dominion have been wary of their safety. The growing insecurity stems from the fact that, for the past few months, all tour groups that visit the campus have been interrupted by ODU’s … Read More

April Fool’s: How Soon Could ODU be Affected by Climate Change?

April 1, 2016 |

George Plank Staff Writer

This winter was one of the warmest on record for the Old Dominion campus. While many students claim it as another case of ‘Virginia Weather,’ others see it as a sign that climate change could soon have … Read More

April Fool’s: Have Fraternities Taken Things Too Far?

April 1, 2016 |

George Plank Staff Writer

Old Dominion University made national headlines last semester when the members of Sigma Nu displayed signs from the balcony of their frat house. These signs, bearing such slogans as “Freshman Daughter Drop-Off” and “Rowdy and Fun,” were … Read More

April Fool’s: ODU Parking to be Affected by 2016-2017 School Year

April 1, 2016 |

George Plank Staff Writer

The ODU Office of Transportation and Parking Services recently announced that parking on campus will be affected by a minor event. Students should expect parking to be negatively impacted by the entirety of the 2016-2017 school year.

Regular … Read More

April Fool’s: Engineering Club Creates First Fully Functional College Student

April 1, 2016 |

George Plank Staff Writer

On Wednesday, March 20, 2016, members of ODU’s advanced technologies club presented their newest invention before a panel of top scientists the country over. They declared that their new invention would completely change the way that people … Read More

Presidential Hopeful Donald Trump Gets High Score at Local Arcade

February 24, 2016 |

George Plank Staff Writer

After his visit to Regent University, presidential candidate Donald Trump decided to take in some of the local attractions and connect with Virginia Beach citizens on a more personal level. While at the oceanfront boardwalk, Trump decided to take a break … Read More

Faux News: Donald Trump Edited Out of ‘Home Alone 2’

February 21, 2016 |

George Plank Staff Writer

It seems that not everyone is riding the Donald Trump bandwagon all the way to the White House. Film writer, John Hughes, has elected to leave the public figure out of the remastering of his … Read More

Faux News is Good News: Fort Knox Houses New Backing of US Dollar

January 31, 2016 |

George Plank Staff Writer

Over the past decade, many Americans have grown wary of the stability of the U.S. economy. After the depression caused by 2007’s housing crisis, many Americans have had to live in the aftermath of the recession and … Read More

Faux News: Ingredient Substitution Leads to Hard Times

November 22, 2015 |

George Plank Staff Writer

With the holiday season just around the corner many have their eyes set on the mountain of food that will be consumed during the upcoming weeks. For many, Betty Crocker is just as welcome in the kitchen … Read More

Faux News is Good News: Donald Trump Hires New Consultant

October 31, 2015 | 2

George Plank Staff Writer

Republican front runner Donald Trump has set his sights on the main competition across the aisle, Hillary Clinton.

Hillary has not kept as out … Read More

Faux News is Good News: Donald Trump Buys The Rights to Lynyrd Skynyrd Hit.

October 31, 2015 |

George Plank Staff Writer

The music industry was rocked yesterday when television show host and presidential hopeful Donald Trump announced that he had recently acquired the rights to the song “Free Bird” by the … Read More

Faux News is Good News: Donald Trump Offered Sitcom Deal with FX

October 31, 2015 |

George Plank Staff Writer

Donald J. Trump is no stranger to the limelight. In addition to his current bid for President of the United States he has had several successful TV shows, such as … Read More

Faux News is Good News: Trump to Donate Leftover Shirts at Low Prices

October 31, 2015 | 1

George Plank Staff Writer

Future President Donald Trump has his share of experience when it comes to being charitable. The Trump organization donates to a variety of sources as well as personally representing the … Read More